A Placements Story

About this time last year, when I was about a quarter of my way through my third year of engineering, I remember that companies started dropping in at my college to offer summer internships to students. I recall being excited and nervous, looking at the wonderful opportunites that I had, and the potentially dazzling futures that they could lead to.

A whole year later, I can look back and say, well, things didn't go exactly as I'd hoped.

I think it's natural for all of us to believe in ourselves, to believe that we are smart, and capable of extraordinary achievements, and perhaps it's not wrong, perhaps we all are capable of accomplishing the things we want to, but often it's not written in our stars to get things the way we want them.

The companies that graced their presence at our college, offering these internships, included some big names like Microsoft, Morgan Stanley, Goldman Sachs, and some more. Unfortunately for me, back then, my grade point wasn't the greatest. I often didn't meet the cut-off because of this, and was not allowed to appear for their tests, and it was a really hard pill to swallow knowing that I couldn't change that in the immediate future. I however did manage to clear the first round for a couple of companies, but only to be rejected later on. While this was quite disappointing, I don't think for a second I believed that I wouldn't end up with an internship. I would always look forward to the next company, and gave it my best.

Companies came for a few weeks, and finally one day, they didn't, and I did not have a summer internship in my hands. Things became really difficult when a lot of my close friends managed to grab these internships, and I could not, and even though I tried to be happy for them, I was disappointed that I couldn't do the same. Things got worse when the pandemic hit, and a few companies that were supposed to come, called it off, and college was closed down. Now not only did I not have work to do, but I was at home all day without much to look forward to.

During the course of the next few months, I would try several ways to land an internship, including applying to companies externally, applying to Google's Summer of Code, and asking family and friends for referrals. Yet once again, none of them seemed to work out, and finally summer itself packed up, and I hadn't done much during it, while a lot of my friends completed some wonderful internships.

Now, you see, while I certainly didn't think I was the brightest bulb in the room, during the beginning of the internship recruitment phase, I'd thought I would be able to obtain an internship. The nervousness and excitement I had at the beginning, slowly turned into constant doubt and disappointment, as every opportunity passed and I couldn't seem to make much out of it. My personality took a hit too, as this doubt started to show, and I constantly felt disappointed in my inability to get an internship. I would often end up playing video games or watching a show, to stop thinking about this failure.

Summer got over, a new semester of college started, and now I was in my final year, which meant it was time for companies to visit college to recruit candidates, gifting them with chances to pave their careers. Determined to do better this time around, I would often spend hours practicing coding, across various websites, to brush up my concepts and give myself a better chance at bagging a job.

However, this isn't the part of the story where I tell you my miraculous hard work paid off and I landed my dream job at my dream company. I'd love for that to be the ending to this story, however cliché, but unfortunately, for most of us, life is not a fairy tale.

A lot of companies would visit college, and again, I would fail, often not able to clear the very first round. What was worse is that, due to the pandemic, the whole process would be virtual and online, creating room for a lot of people to cheat and clear these rounds. It was impossible for me to do the same because of the morals that I'd been taught while growing up, which ended up in me being honest to every test I gave, and not clearing them, due to a mixture of truly smarter people, and people who'd use unfair means to get through.

I had reached the stage where I was really close to giving up, and I think I often did, and it was only my family and some close friends that would help me get up and give it my best to every opportunity that came. I would spend many hours each day feeling extremely disheartened, blaming the system, the pandemic, and the cheaters for my inability to land a job. I'd end up playing video games, watching shows, and slacking off on studying, as it seemed pointless. My sleep pattern was non-existent, and I constantly felt sad. 

However, as companies came and went, the cheaters and truly smarter people shrunk in number. After a bunch of companies recruited my fellow batchmates, I was finally clearing rounds more consistently, making it to interviews, and gaining confidence, now that more people were playing at the same level. 

Today, I have successfully (and quite happily) landed a job, and decided I had to write about what I felt this past year, as it has truly seen some of my unhappiest moments. I don't think it's fair to say it was a rollercoaster of emotions because, it seemed to go constantly downhill, so perhaps a landslide of sadness fits better. 

However, more than anything I think I grew a lot this past year, and learnt so much. As my sister told me, good things happen to good people, and I'd like to imagine I'm a part of this set of people.

The honest truth is that there will always be people who will get lucky in some tests, or people who will use an unfair way to land jobs, and there isn't much you can do about it. You just got to hang in there and believe that your success is right around the corner, and keep at it.

I was told a lot of things this past year, that the people who cheated or got lucky won't make it far in life, or that I have to work harder and believe in myself, but honestly, I think it's a load of crap. I'm sure people who didn't work as hard as I did, got placed at some amazing companies before I did, and I'm sure people who got lucky or used unfair ways to get some jobs will end up learning and getting better at what they do, and end up with successful careers, and it sucks, but honestly, I think that's just the way it is. Life isn't all sunshine and rainbows, and I think sooner or later most of us will realise this.

That being said, it does not mean you aren't going to do well. There will always be opportunites and you have to try to make the most of it, and believe that eventually everything will fall into place. A couple of weeks ago, I was extremely sad and did not believe I would land a job. Yet today, here I am, and honestly the absence of the constant stress feels really peculiar. I really think if you are honest to what you do, and are at a tough spot right now, it is totally fine, you are going to be okay. I can only tell you it is going to get better at some point and you just got to wait for it, and believe that good things will happen to you (and they will). Just hang in there, and try your best for every opportunity you get. I am thankful for all the chances I got, I'm sure there are so many people around the world who don't even get the chances I did, and it really makes me appreciate what I have.

As John Lennon famously said, "Everything is going to be okay in the end, if it's not okay, it's not the end."